Thursday, January 29, 2009

It's white outside my window still.

The back yard looks beautiful today in the cool gray afternoon light. The dogs have run and played in the snow and left their tracks and trails mingling together until the snow looks rumpled, like rumpled sheets on a large bed. Ice still clings to the trees and makes them droop, each branch outlined in icy clearness like some alien landscape suddenly come to life before my very eyes.

Like every day since Monday I am stuck in the house unable to get out safely, which means work and my paycheck is suffering. Today, though, I have been practically depressed over the fact I am not out at my job: I feel as if I am failing. Everyone says I am not, but, still, this is how I feel. Working is a serious matter for me, and not working now makes me feel as if I am letting my employers down after they gave me such a big chance.

There is part of me that is still coldly rational about everything. If I am fired I should probably be able to find another job. If I am let go there will be someone else who can quite easily do my job. If. If. If.... So, to keep my mind busy and my body, at least my hands, active, I am working on the fingerless mitts I have promised my co-workers. There will be one pair finished today and another pair begun. Hubby said he would dig me out a path today when he gets home. SS tried but could not. Hopefully it is warm enough for the snow/ice-melt stuff to work now at 24*F. If I am unable to go to work tomorrow I will go on Monday and be more prepared for the next storm that is preparing to hit Lexington at the beginning of next week.

I am being as optimistic as I can as well as appreciate the beauty and knitting around me.

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